Sarah O'Neill, MSW ? Amara Adoption and Foster Care Specialist
Families who begin the process of adopting a child often ask me whether they should alter their travel plans ? or even make plans in the first place ? while going through the adoption process.
Please go and enjoy your trips! You don?t need to change your lifestyle while preparing and waiting for a child.
Having said this, for those of you who have recently welcomed a child from foster care or from a relinquishing birth parent into your home, you may need to adjust or postpone your travel plans. Here is why:
- Children and adolescents who have dealt with moves and other forms of upheaval in their pasts ? for me, this describes any child of any age removed from or relinquished by birth parents ? will need time to get to know your family, your routine, and your parenting style. Additionally, you will need time to get to know the child.
- A stable home environment allows children, youth and adults to begin to trust one another due to consistency, where the same people, daily routines, and expectations are present.
- Ample nurturing promotes a trust relationship. Activities such as playing with your child and even just talking with your child may seem simple, but in reality are experiences which many children who have grown up in unstable environments have lacked. Developing a pattern of engagement with children is vital to their adjustment, and it is easiest for you to develop this pattern in a familiar and continuous setting.
A family trip or vacation will mean a whole new environment, new people, a different routine (or lack of a routine) and different expectations for the child. If your child has not had enough time to adjust to you and your home, these changes may make your child feel anxious and may cause them to be overwhelmed, act out, or fear being left behind.
What about Disneyland? Even Disneyland, which can be a wonderful experience for children, may be an experience you?ll want to save until well after your child has adjusted to his or her new family.
If you view the potential effects of travel and vacation trips through your child?s eyes, you may find that you want to stay at or close to the familiar and safe setting of your home.
While you are adjusting to one another and blending into an adoptive family, I encourage you to discover ways of building relaxation and exploration into your daily lives as a family, which do not require extended travel.
Day trips to beaches, parks, indoor child/family gyms, museums, and community events can each fit the bill. Be open to alternatives!
Based upon your own experiences, what advice would you share with families who are in the process of adopting a child and who would like to go on outings but may be limited in options for a certain period of time?
Please share below!
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Source: http://amaraparenting.org/archives/2846
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